Recently I've been feeling in dire need of a cry. So here I am, standing at the sink, holding two cut onions to my eyes, hoping that the fumes will bring out the tears. No luck.
I try sniffing pepper...pinching my nose...thinking of all the abandoned guinea pigs in the world, still nothing.
Even after watching the end of Titanic only three nervous drops emerge. My tears remain interred, like jewels under thick glass, glistening and out of reach. Talk about emotional constipation!
Not being able to cry ranks up there with not being able to eat a meal you've spent three weeks preparing - it's unnatural, like a cat that doesn't purr, a dog that doesn't snore or a pigeon that poops AFTER you've moved park benches. I feel like my goddess spirit has deserted me and I've fallen into emotional drought.
From a spiritual perspective, I suspect that my deep avoidance of crying is related to the fear of flow - of being carried along by the divine feminine, of being moved into the right place at the right time without having to 'do' anything.
Having been afraid of water for most of my life, I am starting to understand that it's actually here to heal me, not to drown me...the reality is that we are mostly fluid beings... that's why the moon has such an impact on our moods, because we are simply mermaids on land, in shoes and socks.
It takes a lot of guts to let out your tears, and I love and admire people who are more expressive than me. I tend to worry that people will shut me down just as I start to open up, with platitudes like 'there there, there's no need to cry' etc. But I'm gradually learning that the more I open to pleasure in life - by drinking loads of water, spending time with women, swimming, eating sweet fruits like oranges and yummy fats like avocadoes, the easier it is to maintain my creative momentum in life, whatever the mental state of the people around me.
In Palmistry the health of your sacral chakra (representing pleasure, fertility and femininity) is shown by the quality of the mid-section of your Life Line. Any breaks or islands here can show issues around 'receiving' gifts from God like food and physical affection. I find that people with a large and rounded Luna mount (the edge of the hand on your pinky side) have close ties with their mother and their imagination, whereas people with a very flat edge to their hands live more in the 'real world' and don't put much store by romantic sweet nothings.
In terms of empathy, people with supple fingers and fine, slightly moist skin on their palms find it easier to understand others (including children and animals) and to cry, whereas people with hard or dry skin and stiff hands can appear quite controlled and tend to keep things in until they are 'forced' to let go.
What do your hands say about you? Do you allow yourself to express your feelings as they arise? Or do you store your 'emotional paperwork' in a to do pile until it's too big to ignore? There's no right or wrong approach, just the one that gives you the most clarity at any one time...
Knowing how to stay present in the midst of drama is a great skill in life and perhaps the only skill you need to truly experience inner peace.
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