Are you going through, or healing from, a relationship breakup?
Then I dedicate this post to you and your courageous heart.
Can you be friends with your ex? In my experience, yes.
Is it hard? Yes.
Is it worth it? Sometimes...it depends on whether you're both willing to forgive, forget and evolve.
Here's the thing. What goes around, comes around 10 times over. If you want to live a life of passion and growth, you must learn to forgive people, whatever they have done or said to you.
Assuming you're like the rest of us humans, you only have one heart. If that heart is even partly filled with guilt, hate or anger, you will continue to live 'half-heartedly' until you choose to let it go.
I call this the 'sofa in the door' effect. Holding a grudge means that you refuse to accept someone is a teacher in disguise. This choice will delay new teachers from entering your life. It's like jamming a couch in your front door - you make it hard for love to enter. As a result, you'll keep attracting partners who are non-committal or have hang-ups, because you're sending mixed signals to the Universe.
We live in a fair world, where you have to clean up what's on your plate before you get a second helping. The good news is, there are many people, and Spiritual helpers, who can help you to 'remove the sofa/ pain', you just have to ask.
I'm not saying you have to agree with everything someone has done, you just need to find peace with it (see my take on how to stop bullying). As they say, hatred is like drinking poison, hoping your opponent will die. This world doesn't need more pain, it needs more perspective.
Instead of buying into the 'us vs them' mentality, why not use this opportunity to open, rather than close, your Third Eye Chakra (mind and intuition). If children can forgive each other, why not adults?
I admit, it's easy to preach light and love until your ex sleeps with someone else - in your house - while you are still living there. In my case, my ex and I had already separated, but I hadn't moved out yet (biiiig mistake).
Weirdly enough, I had introduced this person to my ex, and only figured things out when I discovered episodes of Wife Swap saved on the TV (yes, really), a receipt for a meal I didn't remember, and someone else's earrings in the house.
To be honest - the experience almost broke me. It was definitely one of the triggers for my anorexia, but thank goodness I survived because I am 500 times happier now. The interesting thing is that, after a lot of therapy my side, this ex and I are still on speaking terms. I'm a believer in getting over your ego - as they say, you can be happy or you can be right, but never both.
Some people would say I've been unlucky in love - one of my exes is gay, while others have been abusive or alcoholic. I don't see it that way. I believe that part of my Master 29/11 Lifepath is to teach forgiveness. and that means getting hurt sometimes. You could say that I've earned a PhD in Self-Love, with a major in Trusting My (Higher) Self, No Matter What.
I could not have counselled thousands of clients through psychic readings, without having 'been there and done that'. Looking back, I know that all my heartbreaks were designed to catapault me into the arms of my Soulmate Kris and my work studying 11:11 and numerology.
Rumi said 'the wound is the place where the light enters you'.Only now can I see that being a psychic takes extreme courage - you have to walk your talk, see the big picture, and do whatever it takes to heal, even when all you want is revenge.
These days, I know when I am holding onto spite, because I attract clients with unfinished business. Conversely, when I'm in the flow, my clients often praise everything and everyone who pushed them to succeed. They have stopped taking everything personally.
In numerology, EX adds to 11, which is the Master Number for sharing, humanitarian work and new beginnings. 11 reduces to 2, which represents the Sacral or second chakra (emotions and relationships). Every relationship you have is simply a chance to learn about what works for you, and what doesn't work for you, when it comes to sharing your life with someone.
Here are 4 Tips for Staying Friends with Your Ex
True Story. Not long ago, I did a psychic reading for a client where we talked about staying friends with your ex. I said that it takes a mature Soul to do so, and it's something I admire. After all, gossip is gossip. If I was dating someone and they kept talking about their ex, I'd know they hadn't let go of that relationship.
After the call, I got in the car and drove to class. Being clairvoyant, my Spirit Guides send me pictures when they want to talk to me. I kept seeing a phone number in my head, which I recognised as an ex's from a while ago.
This ex helped me to launch my psychic career, even though he was a sceptic. I still remember him running through the Mind Body Spirit Festival to bring me lunch (he was too afraid to walk, in case one of the 'new age weirdos' tried to talk to him). We broke up on 11.11.11. I'd actually foreseen the split that morning, when I noticed a new 'heartache' line in my palms.
There's no doubt we had a karmic contract together. Not only do our numerology lifepaths add to 9 (completion), I had a dream where I gave his now-wife a book about how to look after him (!)
I'd been thinking of him recently, but couldn't remember his mobile. As I was wondering what to do (he's a Lifepath 7 Spiritual Teacher in numerology), I pulled up behind a car with licence plate 711 xxx (read more on the meaning of 711 and Angel Codes like 11:11. I also have this post on licence plate miracles).
711 is about 'leaps of faith', so I stopped and dialled him. He picked up immediately as he'd been about to call his Mum (a Master 11 lifepath like me). He mentioned that his father had died not long ago, on his (my ex's) birthday. I passed on my condolences and we talked about Personal Years in numerology, which start on your birthday (find your Personal Year).
I said he might see numbers as a sign from his Dad (read more in this 11:11 post/ podcast). 11 represents new beginnings and spiritual harmony (Oneness). A few minutes later, I saw a sign with '11Viking', which I photographed and sent to him (see photo). I knew this was a message from his Dad, as their family are Vikings.
What an afternoon! I had a profound sense of completion after this amazing turn of events, which makes sense, as I am in the last six weeks of a 9 Personal Year (Conclusions and Healing). I'm also pregnant with a son I call Forrest Bump, which has brought up many memories for healing. This call came at the perfect time for me to acknowledge how far I've come in the past decade.
I read for countless clients who are releasing emotional baggage in their 9 or 1 Personal Years. No wonder these are the most common times people come in for a numerology session.
I hope this article has helped you to see your breakup from a softer point of view. People come into our life for a reason, season or a lifetime. True love is inner growth. Sometimes we outgrow people, or vice versa. To hold onto someone after that point is cruel, and only promotes fear. Love should be a choice, not a compromise. You can't control another person, but you can choose inner freedom. Attitude is everything.
"Two men looked through the prison bars,
One saw mud,
The other, stars." (attributed to Dale Carnegie)
No matter how your relationship ends, healing is always possible. Sometimes the way you leave someone is the most important thing you'll ever do for them (the same goes for exiting a job). Life is a series of mini-deaths and rebirths. We're here to teach each other about letting go.
I never see people as 'gone', even when they have died or are not talking to me. I just say 'they're skating on the other side of the cosmic ice rink'. No one ever forgets you at the Soul level, even if they do so at the human level.
Whether you stay friends with your ex or not, please, be sure to stay friends with yourself!
The Karma of Having an Affair - Faithfulness Starts With You
A Dozen Quotes on Love & Heart-opening Prayer
Attract a Partner you'll Love! Secrets behind Writing a Wishlist
What's the Meaning of Love? The Numerology of Romance
My Psychic Baby - 6 Holistic Fertility and Pregnancy Tips
Past Life Regression and Healing Your Root Chakra
Family Constellations (An amazing therapy to help heal you at the family and ancestral levels)
The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz
I Need Your Love - Is That True? Byron Katie
The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Compassion - The Ultimate Flowering of Love, Osho
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With best wishes,
(a 29/11 Lifepath & Master Numbers Teacher)
Professional Psychic Reader, Brisbane Australia
Specialising in Palmistry, Numerology, Tarot & Clairvoyance
I'm also an 11:11 Clocks and Repeating Numbers Researcher
Contact me on 0408 898 028 (SMS preferred)
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